wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
