i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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