Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
