have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
