found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
