the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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