I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my shit smells like andre
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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