sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
