He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
