I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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