He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My life is pants optional.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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