Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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