i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize