im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
