I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
