Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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