Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
