She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize