he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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