what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
