whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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