last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Alive.
So much puke
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
