Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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