if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is Oprah even human
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
