You really coming over, don't trick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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