Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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