I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize