Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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