Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
