forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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