they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think my tv is drunk
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im part way to drunk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
