this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
