The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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