i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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