haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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