She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
