at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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