so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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