We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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