Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
