i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
