i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
