Why are handjobs necessary in class?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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