he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
