i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
