plz talk dirty to me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
