You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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