with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
