come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
