There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
