chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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