Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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