Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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