Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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