she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
