is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
