He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you still have your period?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
