I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
