How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
