I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
