Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
