craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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